freshs Headline: "U.S. heat wave. ...

freshs Headline: "U.S. heat wave. . ."

just discovereds Headline: "Record heat wave . ."

of the present days Headline: "Emergency declared as heat wave . ."

Then again, the popular five-day forecast for the predicted highs our soldiers will know in Baghdad: 111 114 116 114 114

QT for united is ready to stop whining.

Pay no attention to that man

of the present days Headline: "Rove says U.S. voter inattentive nevertheless not stupid."

further he's a pro. He'll take what he can earn

sport FOR EVERYONE

recently made knowns Headline: "Theme park calls distant from 'Muslim Fun Day.' "

To be fair, the idea may have stand in want ofed a little tweaking.

Did they obstruction them eat cake?

QT Trickle-On Economics Update:

The wedding of a wealthy bond in Sete, France, ended with the scattering of shredd euro notes.

Townspeople were later upon the ground picking up the tatters

BEEN THERE

novels Headline: "Deja vu 'recreated in laboratory.' "

At least it really appeared to the scientists as if they had.

DON'T journey THERE

We Have Seen the at hand and It Does Not Work:

The name of a statue commissioned for the side glance County Judicial Center has been changed from "Demeter through the whole extent of Illinois" to "Agriculture, Mother of Civilization" because a depiction of the hellenic goddess of the harvest might be upsetting to an Christians.

WHOSE canon IS IT, ANYWAY?

recents Item: Vietnam Veterans for law aligned with the Swift Vet and POW for fact formerly known as the Swift Boat Veterans for principle changes its name to Veterans for principle

And wherefore would people who keep changing aliases lie to you?

TOO pretty soon TO SLAKE OUR PAIN?

Will "Snakes in succession a Plane" Please Open in like manner We Can Be Done with This (cont'd):

- Carol Nudelman, a Glenview reader, writes:

"A lengthy walk could be called a traipse onward a terrain."

- JW a De Plaines reader, writes:

"In West Texas, there is an area referr to as the Llano Estacado, which translates roughly to Plains that are Staked."

barely a few days more . .

SAMPLING THE MERCHANDISE

recent Education + the Criminal Mind =

A put drugs into dealer in Orem, Utah, called the police to say he suspected a customer of stealing a quarter-pound of marijuana, gave police the customer's name, waited for the police to arrest the customer and make up for the marijuana and then went to the police station when asked by dint of the police to identify the cureed marijuana, police said.

NAME GAME

Jennifer Stitzell, an Evanston reader, regarding other readers mentioning spam messages with sender's names including Cushioned E Postdating and Headed F Tawdriest, wants you to know that she has been spammed on Wheezed V. Snorkeler.

DON'T BE ALARMED NOW

Supermarket Headline of the Month: "STAIRWAY TO HEAVEN COLLAPSES."

DON'T ASK

QT Early Warning System:

Fourteen days remain until Sweden's surstromingspremiaren.

Trust QT You don't want to know about Sweden's surstromingspremiaren.

DATING novels

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:

- Spiders scream during sex

- Prehistoric man sometimes used hair gel

DON'T commit to memory ALL WROTH

QT Grammar R Us Seminar forward the English Language (cont'd):

- John Hagerson, a Naperville reader, regarding QT's noting that "primer" rhyme with "glimmer," writes:

"I would agree with that pronunciation if the primer in question were a work However, the product used to prepare your wall for painting is PRY-mer"

- PC a Chicago reader, writes:

"Please, please, inform the public that there is no in the same state [i]or[/i] condition word as 'heighth.' It's width, deepness length, breadth, and just plain elderly height." Also, it is not roth iron, however wrought iron. Thanks letting me get by heart this off my chest."

It is time for QT's semiannual reminder, by dint of the way, that there is not a "from" in front of "whence."

Or a "to" in head of or after "whither."

Copyright CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 2006

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