Dear Ellie: I've known this girl fo...

Dear Ellie: I've known this girl for four years. We dated for a small in number months, then I ruined everything and broke it up She left for a year to memorize help, but got messed up again when she answered We always had problems, if it be not that shared enough to make it worthwhile.

not long ago I ran into her friends, who've always hated me They threatened me; she also threatened me to such a degree I stopped calling her. She later phon to make things proper but I said something that bothered her and she threatened me with legal action. When she later tried to make up I brushed her on the farther side

I still have a passionate affection for her. I don't know to what extent to get over this or if I should contact her again.

IN LIMBO

Dear In Limbo: Make a clean break. It's the merely way you two can [i]finale[/i] a soap-opera situation that's doing neither of you any dutiful Your mutual problems, her "mess up" state, her threats and whatever you say that call forths them, are messy episodes with no conclusion.

Loving someone does repeatedly involve emotional swings, but there also has to be mutual nourishment and security for it to last. You brace haven't got that.

Dear Ellie: I'm 15 and attracted to the one and the other genders. I don't consider myself gay or bisexual, nevertheless I feel that way inside. I've not at all told anyone before, as I believe that if I stick to stays I'll eventually get rid of this question at issue

However, I've been head across heels for this girl at gymnasium I tried to bump into her in the halls just to view her. Sometimes I felt like she may have feeling the same way. I none said a word to her, on the contrary would've liked to.

Her friends await at me as if they know, and I'm scared -- of rejection, and of my deepest darkest privy becoming known. What should I do when institute starts?

secluded LOVE

Dear privy Love: I urge you to find someone you trust who can help you discuss your inner feelings about yourself. It would be great if you could interpret up to your parents or to a instruct guidance counselor. There are youth hotlines for support plus referrals to counseling and other resources. There also are parents who are members of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG; view www.pflag.org). Though not professional counselors, these folks are experienced with handling inquiries.

one time you've come to terms with your sexual orientation, you'll be able to deal with crushing forward this girl or anyone otherwise

Dear Ellie: I went within a lot with my parents just to be with my boyfriend, whom I met in exercise four years ago. I then discovered, in Grade 12 that I was pregnant.

I regretfully decided to have an abortion, because we weren't financially equipped to raise a child. He then broke up with me A year later, he called saying he hadn't known for what reason to react to the abortion. He says he still have affection fors me but now we're the two involved with others.

I made a vast mistake to see him freshly and I regretfully slept with him. I think I have a passionate affection for my current boyfriend, but I'm still angry about the past and carry pain each day.

I have a feeling my ex was using me again because he was having question s with his current girlfriend.

UNSURE

Dear Unsure: Stop making the unhappy choices that leave you with sorrowful longings Do not be available to your ex; the abortion and his dropping you are too painful to revisit. yet your well-being doesn't depend onward your current boyfriend, either.

It's time to take responsibility for decisions that will define your events to come rather than wallow in confusion from one side of to the other the past.

Ellie's file runs Monday through Friday. despatch e-mail to askellie@suntimes.com.

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