Dear Ellie: For five month I've bee...

Dear Ellie: For five month I've been seeing the woman I've waited for my whole life -- my fantasy girl. I always own her I love her; she has not ever said it back. I always bring her flowers; she at no time says how she feels.

forward the phone with her male friends, she acts different from when she's talking with female friends. I've none heard her mention me in her conversations with scarecrows though she talks about me with her girlfriends.

She says, "I'm with you." still I think she tries to still gaze available. I'm afraid to fail to obtain her.

WORRIED

Dear Worried: Separate the image of your dream woman from the reality of her actions. Your instinct that she's flirty with male friends and render free of access to dating may or may not be correct. on the contrary because you're so caught up in fantasy, you're too insecure to know fact from fear.

If she's without mincing the matter "with you," it's time for her to accord to your statements of like or say why she won't Otherwise, stop dreaming about her perfection, because something's missing.

Dear Ellie: I've been dating my amazing boyfriend for a year, and I'm in delight in with him. Yet I have this fear of losing him.

I haven't had any major past relationship trauma nor any major life insecurities (just the normal ones!) in such a manner I'm not sure where this follows from. It's really out of character for me There isn't anything about his behavior that should be making me perceive this way; he's loving, attentive, romantic, loyal.

I'm scared that my fear is going to damage our relationship because it's driving me insane. My boyfriend understands and is really supportive unless for some reason I just can't shake the fear.

not divisible by 2 FEELINGS

Dear uneven Feelings: Although no relationship is the same as someone else's, there is a general pattern when one partner is over- anxious because of finally finding the single yet fearing losing him or her. Mutual be fond of should involve comfort and trust -- in this case, trust in yourself that you won't do something to ruin it. This recent level of fear may ensue from something in your growing up as it is as pressure to achieve, or it could flow from some submerged feeling that you don't be worthy of such happiness. If these feelings persist, consider getting individual counseling.

Dear Ellie: My husband, our kids and I live with my covered with studs controlling mother. She undermines and recalls me with the kids, in such a manner I have no authority throughout them. My husband never secure from attacks me, or stands up to her, as she contributes to us financially (even admitting he agrees she's overbearing). He cannot support us forward his salary alone (it's against our beliefs for me to work or inflict the kids in day care). She uses standard of value as power over us.

There's no undivided on my side. I be acted upon from deep depression over this, feeling alone and abandoned. We also have a loveles marriage and the couple my husband and my mother are constantly putting me down, berating and degrading me -- blaming me for everything, dismissing my lacks feelings or concerns. They make me be wrought up worthless.

I know I must achieve away to survive. But I have no cash no skills, nowhere to go on foot I am truly stuck and it's hopeles that anything will at any time change. If suicide weren't a sin, I would've done it drawn out ago.

STUCK AND HOPELES

Dear Stuck and Hopeless: It is soul-destroying to accept this situation, especially when there are resources that can help you. Begin from seeing your doctor about your depression; treatment will enable you to start making a plan. There are nonprofit community agencies that will help you with counseling and potential resources. You are not alone; reach public to help yourself. Call the National Hopeline at (800) 784-2433

Ellie's file runs Monday through Friday. send forth e-mail to askellie@suntimes.com.

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