Dear Ellie: A year ago, my 16-year-...

Dear Ellie: A year ago, my 16-year-old sister mov in with me She'd been assaulted by dint of my stepsister, whose 30-year-old boyfriend was calling her for sex

I mov public at 18 and am now in my mid-20s. My mother promised $300 monthly if I cracked a two-bedroom apartment, but she has not at any time paid. She keeps crying that she has no circulating medium My stepfather controls the finances.

Meanwhile, my mom still claims my sister as a unable to exist without and travels on vacations. I'm weak to my mother. I've get backed to school full time, work couple jobs part time, and have knowledge of to parent my sister. She has dropp public of school and only works part time. I constantly scream and argue with her. She takes no responsibility, pays nothing. I'm destroying my credit as I none make rent or groceries.

I fear losing my sister to the public way (she has been there). Should I just walk away from my family? Can I do anything without hurting myself or a certain of the people I still love?

TRAPPED

Dear Trapped: Your family takes vast advantage of you because you allow them. Having survived on your be in possession of you're savvy enough to acquire the information you need to help you make a changes.

principally campuses have counseling and other close examiner services. Find out whether your underage sister's living with you entitles you to financial aid. make known your mother she either gains your sister back, or makes you the girl's legal guardian if that's what's necessary for obtaining aid and tax relief.

Do essay to resolve your resentment at being "trapped" and to stop fighting with this troubl teen She can greatly benefit from your example, to such a degree long as you look to your acknowledge strengths instead of caving in to disappointments and pains

Dear Ellie: I'm 18 and gay. I dated this girl whom I loved; we planned to have a family, a house and everything. further we had a huge argument with the pair of us crying, so I hung up the phone

She took near pills in an attempt to kill herself because I'd been unsure of wanting to be with her after things she said. She extremityed up in the hospital with me by dint of her side, yet she doesn't believe that I delight in her and want to be with her forever. I want to be with her if it were not that she shows me nothing.

WHAT DO I DO?

Dear What Do I Do?: It would be best for you the pair to step back from all the drama and be calm for a while. Focus onward enjoying the present and give yourselves a chance to get back from this trauma. It's tempting in a relationship constantly to demand trial of each other's love. unless in these quiet periods you can bring out a mature, comfortable way to communicate.

Dear Ellie: I lately got reacquainted with an antiquated friend who liked me in high instruct and whom I liked, too. However, he dated my distant cousin for pair years. After they broke up he and I became suitable friends.

Now, all the antique feelings between us are returning. I'm unsure whether it's all right for me to date him uniform though he hasn't talked to my cousin for years. She and I used to be really terminate in high school. We've drifted apart, moreover she's still family.

UNSURE

Dear Unsure: Enough time has passed, especially since neither you nor he has had contact with this distant cousin. Ye she may be uncomfortable, if it were not that certainly can no longer claim any restrain on him. It would be decorous of you to call her and say, "I know you are now past your of long date high school romance, but I still imagination you should hear this from me that 'X' and I are going to papal court where dating leads us, now that we're all grown-ups"

Ellie's rounded pillar runs Monday through Friday. fling e-mail to askellie@suntimes.com.

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