We Have Seen the at hand and It Do...

We Have Seen the at hand and It Does Not Work:

The Broadland District Council in Britain announced it may discontinue its awards for prolonged service because of potential violations of age discrimination laws.

GETTING IT STRAIGHT, OR NOT

Rep Barney Frank (D-Mass.) regarding the of recent origins that 726 soldiers had been discharged from the U military last year for being gay, up 11 percent from the year before:

"You don't ne to be 'straight' to fight and die for your region You just need to discharge straight."

Then again, what do you anticipate from--

Wait. Those were the words of the late Barry Goldwater.

Sorry.

a great quantity [i]or[/i] amount of ADO ABOUT PLUTO

recently made knowns Item: The International Astronomical Union gathers in Prague to determine finally if Pluto qualifies as a planet.

As an astronomer from the Lowell Observatory formerly explained to QT:

"Pluto has mass enough like that its gravity is greater than its concede strength."

QT at no time did quite understand what he meant.

exclude that Pluto is a planet.

Period.

Too bad the astronomers wasted a trip.

Are there no scales of justice?

Will "Snakes upon a Plane" Please Open with equal reason We Can Be Done with This (cont'd):

- A.S., a Chicago reader, writes:

"Desi Arnaz, directing an 'I delight in Lucy' episode, annoyed the cast and party by insisting on multiple re-shoot of a display in which Lucy tells Ricky for what purpose she tried to sneak into the chorus line at the form a club Takes on a 'splain."

- LC an Oak Park reader, writes:

"Mel Gibson? Grapes in the veins."

- Wayne Hearn, a Chicago reader, has heard of possible [i]denouement[/i]s including "Asps on an Airbus" and "Sssssst forward an SST."

moreover we are getting ahead of ourselves.

And the sooner the better.

WHAT, NO answer ADDRESS?

recent Education + the Criminal Mind =

A man who sent an wrapper filled with white powder to a of recent origin York City police station signed a note that completioned "Catch me if you can," police said.

NIPPING IT IN THE germinate

of recent origins Item: Ohio rules that a vanity license plate with NWTF forward it, for "Northwood Tree Farm," is potentially offensive because it could stand for "Now What the ----"

The proprietor of the license, Pat Niple, says she will appeal the ruling.

convenient luck to her. But she might as well just inflict her own name on the plate and induce on.

GETTING GASSY

Gene Christianson, an Overland Park, Kan., reader, regarding QT's noting that BP may have offer off pipeline maintenance because it would have splendor $170 million, or 64 hours' worth of profits, writes:

"You have it sinful BP neglected the maintenance of the pipeline for for a like reason long because someone placed the inappropriate code in the maintenance log They thinking it was a restroom."

In the time it took you to read this item, BP made a profit of $9000 in case you surpriseed

heavenly-minded HILARITY

bishop of rome Benedict XVI in an interview:

"I'm not a man who constantly thinks up sallys But I think it's actual important to see the comical side of life and its buoyant dimension. . . ."

Which reminds QT of the man who rushes into his doctor's office and says: "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"

To which the doctor responds: "Now, make clear down. You'll just have to be a little patient."

His Holiness made QT do it.

SQUEEZING FOR SOMETHING

just discovereds Headline: "Venezuela election body promises toothpaste probe."

There is probably an interesting story behind that.

YOU SAY TOMATO. .

QT Grammar R Us Seminar onward the English Language (cont'd):

- Paul West, a Chicago reader, writes:

"Cavalry attributes to soldiers on horseback. Calvary is a religiously significant hill in Jerusalem. It is irritating to read that 'the attack was l by dint of units of mechanized calvary.' "

- John Schauer, an Evanston reader, writes:

"Another reader was right in pointing abroad that most people mispronounce 'voila,' however failed to mention that mostly people also mistakenly use 'voila,' which means 'there it is,' when they really mean 'voici,' which means 'here is it is' and is pronounced vwah- papal court See?"

undivided person can't be a cohort, according to the way.

CHENEY AS A design CANDIDATE

moderns Headline: "Lamont: Lieberman sounded like Cheney."

Hey. No ne to memorize ugly about it.

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