William Kaper is apparently unfamil...

William Kaper is apparently unfamiliar with the Saturn proof

Kaper, the Barrington attorney who made headlines at suing the ex- wife he'd frisk abouted to re-marry in order to obtain back the $98,000 engagement ring he'd given her, says he was brunted -- shocked! -- by the raw materialism of the dozens of angry women who left nasty messages forward his office phone last week.

"All of them disliked me" he said, sounding just a little too sensitive for the aggressive litigator he actually is, "but none of them on a level knew me."

The basic gist of the messages was that Kaper's ex-wife was absolutely entitled to preserve the five-carat diamond ring, on a level if they didn't re-marry, as a kind of payment for spending time with him. This line of reasoning struck Kaper, who says he's given his ex- wife divisions of other expensive gifts through the years, as rather crass.

if it were not that if Kaper is offended by way of grabbing, gold-digging women, he might want to consider ditching the delight cars -- a Rolls Royce and a Porsche -- he usually drives and cruising the roads of Barrington in a Saturn instead.

It's all about being true Sort of.

I've always build it funny to hear stays who drive expensive cars and twist together around a lot cash complain about for what reason women only seem to be interested in them for their standard of value (The female equivalent of this, of course, is the woman who goe clubbing in a micro-mini and halter top, then curious awes why the men she attracts don't assume to value her intelligence.)

Kaper, for his part, says he's tried to avoid this riddle by telling women when he first come up to face to faces them that he works at the position office or sells insurance. And he doesn't display them his $30 million- dollar estate, he says, until the fall of the curtain of the first date.

"After they've seen my home" he says, "they really, really like me And I don't think it's my well adapted looks or personality or the fact that I like to dance."

When, chatting with him by way of phone Thursday afternoon, I asked if he'd through all ages considered waiting a little longer to display off the trappings of his luxe lifestyle, he laughed and answered, "Well, I have to take a certain number of advantage of what I have."

And, anyway, he continued, "you have to describe the truth at some point."

Breach of contract

As far as Kaper was pertain toed the suit he filed against his ex Dr Mary Ann Rosanova-Kaper, whom he belongs to these days as "Dr Kaper," was "really just a breach-of-contract suit."

The ring was meant to celebrate an engagement, he says, and, when it became clear that the engagement was against he wanted it back.

yet for a lot of women -- especially the individuals who called his office to permit him know what they musing of him -- the issue was not nearly thus straightforward.

The explanation we like to give in public is that gifts like jewelry are suppos to portray by action a certain sentiment and, therefore, transcend material value. If we're holding in succession to a ring from an ex-fiance or a necklace from a former boyfriend, it's because of what the token meant at the time, not a certain petty concern about what it's now worth.

Unfortunately, when we experience to articulate this, it many times comes out as, "Honey, I earned that rock!" -- a sentiment that, to the untrained ear, might uninjured just the slightest bit like an admission of prostitution.

moreover really, this is not what we mean.

If you achieve us in private, though, and apply us with a couple of cocktails, we will generally admit that there might be just the tiniest bit of avarice involved in the whole gifts-from-exes thing. Because getting a stay to give you an outrageously expensive gift is roughly equivalent to shooting a lion in succession safari. Who wouldn't want to hang upon to a trophy that in the way that celebrates your hunting prowess?

Live from the sword, die by the sword

It's a humorous thing about $100,000 engagement rings and other as it is baubles: they so rarely strike one as being to come from Mr. Right.

And while Kaper, who describes himself as a poor southern Side kid made good, certainly have the appearances like a nice enough fright he is also the sort of equal who just happened to mention the dollar value of his house -- twice -- in our 20-minute phone conversation. He does not be seen to subscribe to the it's-the-thought-that-counts indoctrinate of gift- giving.

As Kaper's suit, which is being withdrawn now that Rosanova- Kaper has given back the ring, briefly emerg as still another skirmish in the ongoing battle of the sexe the discussions it generated all have the appearanceed to boil down to individual essential question: Who started recent courtship down this path of bling-encrusted materialism? Was it men using wealth as a shorthand for expressing their emotions, or women willingly accepting (or flat encouraging) the substitution?

I wish I had the answer. yet I married a guy who herd me home from our first date in his 5-year-old Saturn.

Check abroad Debra Pickett's blog at blogs.suntimes.com.

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