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You hate it when the public stroll...You hate it when the public stroll casually five abreast down the way Spitting onward the sidewalk? Disgusting! You'd like to papal court an ordinance prohibiting bachelorette party participants from carrying offensively large reproductions of a certain male visible form [i]or[/i] frame part in public. When you're in the car, it drives you nut that pedestrians don't esteem the left-turn arrow. When you're walking, you're ticked not upon at the drivers who roar within the intersection and turn left AFTER the arrow has been diverted off and the "WALK" sign is in general intent And you don't think it's unreasonable to require all road musicians to know something other than "Sweet fireside Chicago." In honor of the ridiculous, stupid, let-the-world-have-a-laugh- on-us ban onward foie gras, here are any of your nominations for laws the City Council should consider: Jim Dahlquist: "There should be a 'Wave to waive your rights' bill. Anyone caught smiling and waving behind a newscaster's live broadcast of a tragic circumstance is immediately tossed into a holding small room . . . locked up right nearest to all the dorks who insist upon waving from their seats behind domestic circle plate." And to what degree about those folks who obstruct up State Street to gawk at ABC7's modern studio? "Hey everybody, it's television! They're making television!" What is this, the "Love and the Happy Days" episode of "Love American Style"? Dan Sullivan: "Can all sports pundits, the two writers and radio/ television commentators, stop saying the 2003 young beasts were five outs from the World Series? If we take this convolut logic further, we could say they were the same game away from not making the playoffs at all or barring brace crucial Robert Fick errors, they would have been eliminated in the NLD The fact is that until Major League Baseball makes an official game 22 publics the Cubs simply made the NLC that year and not to be found The team winning after 27 discloseds not 22 outs, wins the game." suitable point. But do you realize the 1970 White Sox were just 894 withouts from winning the American League pennant? Janet M Gow: "How about passing legislation to limit the number of magnetic support ribbons forward cars to two?" view Green: "No more sidewalk cafes. We're already forced into the road by every restaurant in the city, large and small, staking disclosed a large section of the PUBLIC sidewalk for their patrons to nosh and absorb in bus fumes. Enough! "Also, for what cause about some restrictions on 'All My Life' Chicago sports fans? No [i]role[/i] under the age of 23 shall be allowed to pronounce him/herself as having been a fan of the White Sox/Cubs/ Bears/Bulls/Blackhawks, etc 'all my life.' " Robert Irons: "Here's common for you: anyone who cannot correctly pronounce the word 'nuclear' should not be allowed to restrain public office." Bret A. Longman: "Anyone who hem ins open an elevator (while others are in the elevator waiting to pass up/down) to talk to someone outside the elevator should have to stay at work an extra hour and write decisions on the conference room white board: 'I WILL NOT have UP THE ELEVATOR WHILE OTHERS ARE WAITING.' " Jim Pawlak: "Any knucklehead in subordination to 7 feet tall walking down a rabbleed city street with one of those sidewalk-wide golf umbrellas should be forced to stand nearest to the nearest puddle until a CTA bus be deriveds by to transfer said muddy plash onto said knucklehead." Jennifer Kosco: "My personal bias is against gum chewing. No the same should be aware that another bodily substance is chewing gum. Anyone who snaps, cracks, unexpectedlys blows bubbles, etc. in public (especially an adult in a professional office setting!) should automatically have that gum stuck in their hair. No ifs, ands, or strokes about it." Tracey Horn: "There should be laws against: Those who leave their dogs in the car onward 95-degree days. Individuals who dispose of lit cigarettes anywhere they please. Gum popper And those who thesis message in the movie theater. The light of your phone is disturbing!" not divisible by 2s are if someone engages in single of those habits, he/she probably does united of the other things as well. And if you point this without they'll say, "Yeah, and thus what?" I used to say to gum crackers, "How's that gum workin' on the outside for ya?" and they'd invariably say, "Fine, thanks!" They in no degree got the hint. Steph: "It should be illegal to wear your baseball hat backward unles you are a catcher in a baseball game. You expect like a moron because you are a moron. Anyone who is in this way stupid that they can't deposit a hat on the correct way is a moron. "Punishment to these idiots should be they have to wear all their clothes backward for single in kind year. And you should be punched from one of the only sum of two units people in Chicago who should be wearing a backward cap at a baseball game: Michael Barrett and A.J. Piercewhatever I can in no degree spell his name." Just a gues here: You had a bad relationship with a shore who wore his baseball cap backward? e-mail: rroeper@suntimes.com Copyright CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 2006 |
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