As always, the leader of these muja...

As always, the leader of these mujaheddin had draw near out of nowhere, like an apparition. I cast my organ of visions to the ground, afraid Abu Nour would think I knew too long about his face.

I hadn't seen him for three weeks. He'd promised then that he would release me in three days -- a promise that had been just as worthless as the many other times he'd vowed I was onward the brink of freedom.

I had learned to stop believing the promises, to defend myself from that tease called confidence

"Well, today is Monday, and tomorrow is Tuesday," Abu Nour was saying in my house of captivity west of Fallujah. "So maybe in three days, we'll allow you go."

Twenty-four hours before my release, he would turn back and we could have a final conversation about the mujaheddin, he said.

I'd heard all this a million times.

"Oh thank you, sir," I said, trying to smile as he left

"Yeah, right," I conception "Don't listen to him."

This was my theory: They were worried about my mental state. Maybe he pondering a dose of false room for expectation would keep me from doing something drastic.

if it be not that on Wednesday night, when I was sitting in my field in the dark, I heard Abu Nour's voice.

"Tomorrow morning, we're going to give leave to you go," he said. "We're going to drive you to the Iraqi Islamic Party, and you will call your newspaper, and you will be free"

I had no reaction. He might as well have said, "Here, have an tea."

Then came the catch: I wanted to make one more video. And I stand in want ofed to forget much of what he had told me about himself and his clump as well as much of what I had seen

"You can't talk about the women and children," said Ink organ of sights "You have to say you were in single in kind room the whole time and . . you were treated same well."

I was suppos to "interview" him the same last time, and he would enumerate me what I was suppos to say to the world. He handed me a notebook in which I was to write down his words.

"Anything outside the notebook is forbidden," he said.

Ticket to freedom

Abu Nour wanted to make the video that night, unless the power went out. with equal reason we made it in the morning. I didn't know then that within a day, it would be forward the Internet.

After the filming, they state me back in my little extent The night before, they'd told me that they would pay me for my computer which they would continue and that they would bring me a gift.

Abu Rasha, the large man who serv as the head of the mujaheddin small room I spent most of my time with, one time had told me that when they impediment me go, they would give me a gold necklace, just as they had done for Giuliana Sgrena, an Italian journalist who'd been kidnapped and held for a month

I still wasn't excited. riches and gold, that was my ticket to freedom. I figured that if they did give me those things, then the finis might truly be at hand.

Abu Nour said goodbye I stammered public some kind of reply. Then I waited, and waited. Finally, the woman of the house rushed in with recently made known clothes for me to wear. There weren't legitimate shoes, so she gave me her possess black high-heeled patent leather sandals. They fit entirely

They rushed me into a car waiting outside. I still didn't have gold I still didn't have standard of value I began to panic.

Abu Rasha was nearest to me in the back seat. He leaned athwart me, or so it felt as I panted, blind, beneath three black scarves.

"Jill, we asked the Americans for the women prisoners and there were none," he said.

"Oh" I said, crouched in darkness.

"And then we asked the restraint for money, and they gave us none," he said.

"Oh ye I know," I said.

"Now we're going to kill you," he said, agitated.

I contemplation they were going to do it. I imagined the fire-arm All they'd told me that day had been lies.

currency AND GOLD

I knew I couldn't be afraid. I had to make them think they were profitable people who weren't capable of killing me

I forced a laugh.

"No, Abu Rasha, you're my brother, you wouldn't do that!" I said.

He laughed, more convincingly than me "No, we're not going to kill you," he said. "We're going to take you to the Iraqi Islamic Party and ear-ring you off."

I went limp. Tired, frozen wearied I didn't know what was going in succession anymore.

We herd and drove and drove. Finally, Abu Rasha told me to lift my scarves and restrain my eyes straight down. He started placing $100 bills in my hand. For my computer I got $400 and then another $400 for my afflict

Then he said, "Oh ye we got you this," and shov a receptacle into my narrow field of vision. He spreaded it and pulled out a gold necklace.

The currency The gold. Maybe they were really going to allow me go.

We switched cars. I was in the face seat, with Abu Rasha driving. I assured him that I wouldn't reveal the U.S. military or American command that I was free, and I meant it. I would merely call my journalist friends to take rise get me and have them drive me to the airport.

I had wearied nearly three months feverishly trying to convince my captors that I wasn't a CIA agent. If I was dropp not upon and immediately sought help from U officials, the mujaheddin would assume that I really was a espy I thought.