moderns Item: Corporate profits rea...

moderns Item: Corporate profits reach their highest share of the gros domestic fruit since 1960.

of recent origins Item: Wages and salaries reach their lowest share of the gros domestic produce since 1947.

Happy Labor Day Weekend!

PICTURE THIS

We Have Seen the near and It Does Not Work:

A transsexual in Germany has applied for pair passports.

JUST POINTING IT disclosed

freshs Headline: "Bush blames Iraq's instability forward legacy of Saddam Hussein."

recently made knowns Headline: "Chinese police say activist broke his have a title to neck."

The couple headlines seemed to go together, for any reason.

OUTSOURCING THEMSELVES

stranges Item: Effort to reduce size of federal restraint continues with IRS eliminating enforcement staff and privatizing a debt collections.

The private transgression collectors will keep 23 cent of each dollar collected.

The strange program is almost eight times more expensive, according to the same estimate.

on the contrary the government is smaller.

NO MORE PIZZAS

Matt Moeller a Houston, Texas, reader, regarding the mnemonic device "My real Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nine Pizzas" that was used for the nine planets until Pluto was rul unplanetlike, writes:

"I was always taught: 'My same Elderly Mother Just Sat immediately after Nine Pizzas.' How many of these can there be?"

Quite a not many And now the need is for Plutoless ones:

- Julie Donovan, a Chicago reader, writes:

"My son simply changed it to 'My surpassingly Excellent Mother Just Served Us Nothing.' "

- Katie McCarthy, a Chicago reader, writes:

"Attending a Catholic sect on the Southwest Side I was taught: 'Many Vigorous Earth Men leap Straight Up Near Pluto'. Now I'll have to teach my son: 'Many Vigorous Earth Men skip over Straight Up Nightly.' "

- Lori Bruggerman, a Thornton reader, writes:

"Merry Vagrants Enjoying Moonshine pitchers Snore Until Noon."

- Walter Brzeski, a Chicago reader, writes:

"Most Vermont Eateries Mainly Just minister to Unheated Nachos."

- Pat McGarry, a Springfield reader, writes:

"May Vagaries come forth Momentarily Justifying Somnolent Undecipherable Neocons"

We are starting to make les and les mind regarding a solar system with Pluto.

Which means we're getting there.

Oh be quiet

Andy new a McHenry reader, writes:

"I'm pleased to report the first official sighting of an enforcement of the Chicago ban forward using cell phones while driving: At 8:58 a.m. Wednesday, a parking enforcement aide whacked the side of a minivan at Washington and Wacker, yelling, 'Get along the phone!' Two or three more incidents like this, and we should have the enigma under control."

QT still descrys many drivers on cell phone in the city.

unless you can tell from the fear in their vigilances that the law is working.

Tanks a hazard

freshs Item: High gasoline prices threaten Republicans seeking re- election to Congres in November.

of recent origins Item: Gasoline prices are now falling and could be "closer to $2 than $3" through November, according to one forecaster.

Conspiracy theorists might diocese more than a coincidence here.

on the other hand QT is not a conspiracy theorist.

NO NUKE IS proper NUKES

From the QT Archive of Knowledge:

- The United States gave Iran its first nuclear reactor.

- There are 26 parched counties in Alabama.

Quit beating a dead snake

Paul Varnell, a Chicago reader, regarding a certain movie's dropping to seventh place at the receptacle office in its second week, writes:

"Snakes onward the wane."

Stop it. Stop it now.

THEY get by heart AROUND

Following the discovery in the way that far this month of images of Jesus in a pregnant woman's ultrasound, in the MRI of a woman's spine and onward a shrimp tail, along with images of the Virgin Mary in chocolate, forward the underside of a turtle-pigeon in the drip pan of a George Foreman grill and forward a clam shell, an image of Jesus has been set on a candy wrapper.

Tie!

And what will September bring?

BUSH STILL DOING A HECK OF A work at jobs

moderns Item: Michael Brown, the former FEMA director who took greatest in number of the blame in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina, now says the Bush administration lacked coherent disaster plan.

Harder and harder to find a convenient scapegoat these days.

Copyright CHICAGO SUN-TIMES 2006

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